Sunday, August 02, 2009

Gargling is an Indian sport

The other day I walked down stairs to the cafeteria at work and like all other days roamed the counters offering various different varieties of food trying to find the least offensive offering.

I dont quite remember what I ate that day -- it was not worth remembering -- but what I remember is feeling this intense urge to gargle afterward. Something was stuck between my molar (second or third molar, I can never tell which is which -- like second or third cousins) and my wisdom teeth. My dentist -- I don't have a regular dentist, this is the one I visited once 6 years ago -- says my wisdom teeth are growing sideways and are pushing my regular teeth and I should have them removed. I almost laughed, but for the healthy dose of Novocaine. He doesn't know that his precise analysis of my teeth was strangely metaphorical as far as my wisdom is concerned. It regularly pushes my common sense. But I digress. Coming back to intense urge to gargle... I don't usually gargle at work. I have never seen anyone do it and was wondering if it fit under 'good manners' or 'offensive personal habits', but that day I walked straight into the men's room and gargled profusely. The strand of baby spinach -- or whatever -- that was stuck in my teeth was flushed out, along with a few other perpetrators. It felt good. It gives me kicks to imagine gargling causing jets of water to gush through the crevices between teeth and flushing out food particles along the way. That's why my grand parents insisted on gargling after every meal. It is a nice substitute to dental floss which was not common in India in the twentieth century.

But gargling seems to be particularly Indian. I am not sure how many other cultures practice gargling after every meal. I wonder how 'green' dental floss is, but if it isn't then gargling can be another way to reduce your carbon footprint while keeping your teeth healthy.

Happy Gargling!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

"Tell that to your mother!"

Careful lip readers could discern one of the Indian batsmen saying this to Glenn McGrath after McGrath bowled each ball and during his follow through ran well up to the batsman and started it all by saying something even nastier, I am sure. "Tell that to your mother!" This happened during the World Cup 2003.

I was so proud that one of the Indian youngsters could finally give it back to McGrath, instead of just looking away. Australian cricketers are long known for sledging. They play the mind game. In fact, Steve Waugh is popularly mis-quoted as having said "You just dropped the World cup mate" to the South African fielder during semi-finals of the 1999 World Cup when he was dropped. This may as well be just a legend, but it is indicative of the Australian arrogance.

One would argue that the Australians almost have the right to be arrogant and I could agree. They are so good. They have dominated international cricket for years. Show me a sport that doesn't involve some kind of sledging or another and I will show you Santa Claus.

The only problem I had with the Sydney test -- other than Steve Bucknor -- was the way the mighty Australians whined and complained because one of the Indian team members decided to give it back to them. If they give some -- and we all know they do-- they should be human enough to take some. That's what bothers me the most.

If Harbhajan said something racist, then the appropriate action needs to be taken against him. There is no place for racism anywhere.

What the Indians need to do is give some and take some, but most importantly play with your hearts out and beat them Aussies at cricket. That is exactly what happened at WACA. There were poor decisions, there were human errors, but Indians played superbly and beat the Aussies. Say what you gotta say through your batting, bowling and fielding.

It seems though that the Aussies looked like -- to borrow an analogy from a famous Marathi humorist -- a tiger on a prescribed vegetarian diet. They couldn't be nasty; they couldn't talk trash; they couldn't appeal vehemently; they couldn't win the game. It does seem like, the Aussies were handicapped by taking away the ungentlemanly part of their game.

Bring on the Adelaide Oval.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Communism and Atheism

Two weeks ago, I became an American; the whole 9 yards. I had my oath ceremony in the courthouse in downtown Columbus. It is interesting that an Indian Indian from India became an Indian American in a city named after the dude who lost his way to find the new world and ended up calling the native people 'Indian'. But I digress, which I often do. Coming back to 'becoming an American', I went through the regular process of H1-B followed by more than 5 years of being a 'Resident Alien', followed by a very short process of Naturalization.

The Naturalization forms ask the candidate multiple times if s/he is a communist or is affiliated to a communist organization. I wonder what happens if any candidate says yes. I said no. I truly believe that communism -- though to some people is idealistic and promising in theory -- doesn't work period. History has shown us that.

What intrigues me is the assumed connection between Communism and Atheism. I have observed that in the American media all communists are referred to as atheists. They might as well be, but I don't see the inherent relation between the two, if any.

It would be interesting to see if the doctrine of Communism preaches Atheism. If it does, I wonder why? May be the 'founders' of Communism thought that opening the gates of religion would cause people to believe in their own concept of GOD, creating as many definitions of GOD as Communists and there goes the tenet 'Everyone is equal'. At least that is my uneducated take on this.

The U.S. Government has decided to honor The Dalai Lama with the Congressional Gold Medal. That is the highest civilian honor in this country. China created a lot of fuss about it. The Chinese government said that this lone act would cause a major rift between Sino-US relations. That's quite an objection. This story was amply covered by the NPR. One of the reporters was in China and she was interviewing average Chinese Joes and Janes about what they think. The average person was scared to talk about the Dalai Lama. At one point the reporter said that the Chinese police came over and detained her on the street for a bit before letting her go. She also said that if you join the Communist Party in China you have to be an Atheist.

It must be really frustrating to not have the freedom to express your views. Did someone say 'Tiananmen Square'?

In ending I want to write my favorite anecdote about The Dalai Lama. It also features Carl Sagan, a person whom I really respect.

Carl Sagan was a well known evangelist of Science and was a well known agnostic and very skeptical about Religion and GOD. Whenever he met with high profile religious leaders he used to fancy asking them challenging questions about their faith. When he met The Dalai Lama, Carl Sagan asked him "What would happen to your religion if one of its tenets is proven to be false?" and The Dalai Lama replied "Then Tibetan Buddhism will have to change". Amazed and Impressed by the calm answer Sagan prodded further and asked "Even if it is the central tenet of reincarnation?"; and The Dalai Lama replied "Yes! But it is going to be very hard to disprove reincarnation!".

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

"Cyclic Integral of Heat Over Temperature"

The human brain is an amazing learning machine. Nothing equals the human brain when it comes to learning from experience; although, some human brains seem to be gifted more in this department than others, but that is not what I want to rant about.

As a child, life is simple in many ways and hence happier in some ways. As one 'grows up' the complex concepts begin to dawn upon oneself and it opens a plethora of pleasures and disappointments.

I remember as a kid I never appreciated some vegetables and their taste and nutritious value. I hardly liked any bell peppers and absolutely abhorred the exotic ones like the ridge gourd (doDkaa); but as I grew up or grew older I should say, I started experimenting with them a little more and now I absolutely love these vegetables. Also, even though the nutritious value is not directly evident to me, I am able to empirically appreciate the way these veggies seem to energize each and every cell of my body. Now I exactly know why my parents urged me to eat my veggies. It is so proverbial to ask your children to "eat your vegetables"; but now I know it comes out of the parents' own appreciation of nutritious food. They are at an age where they have begun to truly understand the benefits and wonder why their children don't.

I attribute this change in attitude towards vegetables to both the evolution of my own brain and the other physiological changes in my body.

When I was a young adult of 20 years age, I was studying Mechanical Engineering at the College of Engineering Pune, India. I and a close friend of mine got interested in 'Thermodynamics'. Very early in the semester the subject of 'Thermodynamics' seemed very arid and desolate; mostly due to the attendance in the class; but we hung on and thanks to the brilliant teacher (Professor Domkundwar) we got fascinated with the topic and in all modesty really understood the various concepts in 'Heat Engines', 'Refrigeration' etc.

That was the year when Professor Domkundwar taught us the concept of 'Entropy'. It was a new concept and then very hard to understand. It seemed weird that the 'Entropy of the universe always increases'. We even solved some silly mathematical questions based on the concept of Entropy; but not because we really understood the concept, but because we memorized the mathematical formulas involved in calculating Entropy.

So our frustrated young souls one day caught up with the Professor after class and directly posed him the question...."Sir, What exactly is Entropy?". He looked at us with pity and said..."It is very difficult to explain Entropy. I can tell you that mathematically it is the cyclic integral of heat over Temperature, but that won't mean much to you. One day you guys will just get it." and he walked away leaving us in disbelief. We mulled over the answer for some days puffing away cigarette smoke, inadvertently increasing the Entropy of the universe. We didn't have a choice; No matter what we did the Entropy increased.

It has been 17 years since and I don't claim to completely understand what Entropy is, but I am pretty sure that I have a feel for it. I have a feel for why it always increases and doesn't decrease, ever. Now, I also understand what the Professor meant when he said ..."one day you guys will just get it."

I am excited by the prospect of 'getting' many more such concepts as I grow older.

I took up golf when I was 33 years old. It is a damn hard game as it is and starting late in life doesn't help. Initially I took a few lessons with Matt who is the Golf Pro at the Los Lagos golf course in San Jose, California. While working on my swing and watching me get frustrated trying to hit the sweet spot consistently -- even with the fitted clubs -- Matt one day said to me ..."Golf swing is a complex phenomenon. You keep practicing the good things and one day you will have an epiphany and just get it." I still remember that sunny Saturday afternoon at the Los Lagos golf course. Matt had reminded me of Professor Domkundwar and had boosted my optimism about my golf swing. One day I will just get it.

I don't know when I will get it really. Does anyone ever get it? May be Tiger Woods does.

So when someone on the tee, after hitting a bad slice to the right asks me "do you ever get this golf swing thing?" I am going to calmly reply..."Yes I do, I finally get it...It is simple really...It is the cyclic integral of heat over temperature!"

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Come'on Barry!!

In his stand up routine Hugh Fink talks about the roles of the first base coach in Baseball. I too never really understood what the first base coach really does there. Hugh Fink is right in pointing out that the first base coach usually chews on tobacco and silently encourages the batter. "Come'on Bobby!!"

That might as well be true, but this post is not about the first base coaches. Today Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run; against the Washington Nationals team when he sent one over the left center field.

All the controversy surrounding the alleged steroid use and the asterisk mark against Barry's name is astounding. I wonder if the opposing teams fans would boo Barry if he were a good old Christian white boy, who called for God when he uttered every other word during the press conferences, or would it be the same if Barry were as dear to the press as say Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan are these classic good boys who give what the press people want. They utter these mundane answers which the press likes to hear, at the risk of being boring. I am sure they know, but they prefer to comply than be bothered by the press.

Barry on the other hand is different. He is almost hostile to the press and is hated by the journalist. Since he got close to Henry Aaron's record in the past two weeks I have read so many articles bashing Bonds and how the world doesn't care about his record. I think all of it is made up by the reporters who I am sure at one point or another had a not so pleasant interaction with Barry.

What happened to good old 'innocent until proven guilty'? Barry might as well be guilty of using steroids. Although I am not sure if steroids help you improve your hand eye co-ordination? Steroids might help you stay healthy longer and play for a long time. That would be a definite advantage. But until it is proven otherwise I would like to give the benefit to Barry.

So, Congratulations Barry!! It is a great feat and asterisk or not you would be remembered by baseball fraternity for a long time to come.

Most people would argue if it is fair to give Barry the credit because of these allegations against him. I will tell you what is not fair....a guy in Mets uniform catching the ball worth at least a million dollars! that is not fair at all!!

"Come'on Barry!!"

Friday, July 13, 2007

QOTD

The then aspiring golf teacher once asked the great Ben Hogan if he could watch Ben hit balls on the range and the taciturn Ben nodded. After Ben was done hitting balls the aspiring teacher gathered courage and went up to Ben Hogan and asked him if he lived by anything and Ben said, he lived by 10 two letter words...

"If it is to be, it is up to me"

Monday, July 09, 2007

keep up, buddy!

This sunday Roger Federer won his 5th straight Wimbledon and his 11th major. What a feat! and what a match it was with Rafa.

Not so long ago, I remember watching Sampras win his 14th major, when he beat Andre Agassi to win the 2002 U.S. Open. Then John McEnroe had wondered if in our lifetimes we would see someone break Sampras' record of 14 majors; and here we are, almost sure that Roger Federer will do it and that too soon.

I got up early Sunday morning to watch the much awaited final between Nadal and Federer. After the match began, during the first commercial break, Nike unveiled their new commercial featuring Federer and Tiger woods. You can watch it here.

As the commercial began, I realized that the voice over was Tiger Woods' voice and remember wondering if Tiger had only agreed to give his voice over for his new 'buddy'. But the punch line comes at the end when after praising Roger as the most feared Tennis player and winning ten majors and counting Tiger goes "And my name is Tiger Woods and I have 12 majors and counting. So Keep up Buddy!".

I thought it was very cute.

It got me thinking though; Is it easier to win 12 golf majors or is it easier to win 12 tennis majors? Or 14 tennis majors like Sampras has or 18 golf majors like Mr. Nicklaus has won?

If I present this question to most of my folks in India (or generally to most of the people I know, anywhere), they would emphatically say "Tennis majors of course and that's that!". But having indulged myself in both the sports, I think the answer is not that easy. The vulgar opinion about golf, especially in the 'hood that I grew up in is very... well, vulgar. Golf is thought of as a sport for spoiled rich people -- which it no doubtedly is -- where you ride in a golf cart all day occasionally hitting at a ball; or a game where a caddy does all the work for you and you just walk around wasting valuable time, which you might as well have wisely devoted to philanthropy.

Golf, at a competitive level is hardly that. It is demanding, both physically and mentally, and is a true test of strength, focus and resilience. At 18 majors Mr. Nicklaus is still the man to beat and Tiger Woods has a good chance of equalling or breaking his record.

Folks argue about golf's stature as a sport that needs physical and mental strength. Some arguments include points like ... 'the ball is sitting right there and nobody is trying to hit it at you' or ... 'you dont have to run to the ball or sprint or jump or do any such physically demanding action to hit the ball' and the likes. Golf Swing is not considered as a physically demanding action at all. Golf and athleticism don't go together.

It is just too hard to compare the two sports. Tennis might arguably require more athleticism than golf due to the fact that you are playing against someone and tennis puts more apparent work load on your joints.

But golf needs strength and suppleness in equal amounts. Just try hitting a golf ball three hundred yards in any direction and we'll worry about hitting the fairways later. This June I had the opportunity to watch pro-golfers at the memorial tournament. I followed Tiger for a while and was amazed at how much club-head speed he can generate. Adam Scott hits a six iron over 200 yards and Tiger hit a fairway wood 320 yards. Doing this day-in and day-out at that level requires a sound mind, almost zen-like.

It is possible that Tiger wins at least one of the remaining two majors this year. Then it would be 13 and counting. Roger seems all set to win the U.S. Open in September, unless Rafa has different plans for him. That would be 12 and counting for Roger.

I wonder if Nike has a commercial ready when and if Roger overtakes Tiger and gets a chance to say "Now, who's falling behind, buddy?"